2nd attempt - Becks Jokes
>Posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the six
>The main story is a man threatening to jump off the Clifton Suspension
>Bridge on to the busy road below.
>Posh turns to Becks and says:
>"David, I bet you 5,000 that he jumps!"
>To which Beckham replies "5,000? Done! I bet that he doesn't."
>So they shake hands on the bet and continue watching.
>Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.
>Beckham takes 5,000 out of his back pocket and
hands it to
>But she refuses.
>"I can't take your money, David," she says. "The truth is, I was
>cheating. I saw the five o'clock news, so I knew he was going to jump."
>"No, babe, fair's fair" says David.
>"That money is yours fair and square I was cheating just as you were. I
>saw the five o'clock news, too. I just didn't think he would do it
>The Real Madrid players are in the dressing room on Saturday, just
>before the game, when Zidane walks in.
>"Boss," he says, "there's a problem. I'm not playing unless I get a
>"Hey," says Becks. "If he's having a new car, so am I."
>David Beckham goes shopping, and sees something interesting in the
>Kitchen department of a large department store. "What's that?" he
>"A Thermos flask," replies the assistant.
>"What does it do?" asks Becks.
>The assistant tells him it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.
>Really impressed, Beckham buys one and takes it along to his next
>training session. "Here, boys, look at this," Beckham says proudly.
>"It's a Thermos flask." The lads are impressed. "What does it do?" they
>ask. "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, "says David.
>"And what have you got in it?" ask the lads.
>"Two cups of coffee and a Choc ice," replies David.
>Posh takes her car into a garage to have some dents removed. The
>mechanic knowing she isn't the brightest Spice Girl in the world,
>decides to play a joke on her. "You don't need me to take those dents
>out," he says. "Just blow up the exhaust pipe and the
metal will pop back into place".
>So she takes the car home and tries it.
>David spots her from the house and shouts "You silly cow! You have to
>wind the windows up first!"
>David Beckham is celebrating: "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happily.
>Posh asks him why he is celebrating. He answers: "Well, I've done this
>jigsaw in only 57 days." "Is that good?" asks Posh.
>"You bet," says David. "It says 3 to 5 years on the box."
>David Beckham had a near-death experience the other day when he went
>riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bucking up
>and down out of control.
>He tried with all his might to hang on but it was no good.
>With his foot caught in the stirrup, he fell headfirst to the ground.
>His head continued to bump on the ground as
the horse refused
>to stop or even slow down. Fortunately, however, there was a happy
>Just as he was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the
>Woolworth's' manager came along and unplugged it.
>Victoria Beckham and her driver were cruising along a country road one
>evening when a cow ran in front of the car.
>The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't the cow was killed.
>Posh told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the
>owners what happened.
>About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his
>clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a
>cigar in the other and smiling happily.
>"What happened?" asked Posh.
>"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave
>me the cigar, and their beautiful
daughter made mad
>passionate love to me.">
>"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Posh.
>The driver replied: "I'm Victoria Beckham's driver, and I just killed