18-12-2005, 11:00 PM
Banned from Site
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in God. God believes in Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Rather than being born like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.