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Punch me.
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9,398 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during the flight.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.

The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: Thats what theyre there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect youre right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
 

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Seasoned Member
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4,032 Posts
auto land not installed he he!
 

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Southern Ireland Area Rep
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1,186 Posts
Right this is really reassuring if its true which I'd have my doubts over given the nature and seriousness of maintenance logs! Surely if a crash did occur and NTSB or equivalent went back to check the maintenance logs this would be totally unacceptable and irreparably damaging for the reputation of said airline.
 

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Seasoned Member
Joined
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4,032 Posts
Right this is really reassuring if its true which I'd have my doubts over given the nature and seriousness of maintenance logs! Surely if a crash did occur and NTSB or equivalent went back to check the maintenance logs this would be totally unacceptable and irreparably damaging for the reputation of said airline.
ah ya get away with a bit of piss taking like but most of that stuff is a joke, the tire one i would pull,if its within limits then your ok! i fly all the time,sure your only gona have the one crash anyway!
 

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Registered
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4,219 Posts
ah ya get away with a bit of piss taking like but most of that stuff is a joke, the tire one i would pull,if its within limits then your ok! i fly all the time,sure your only gona have the one crash anyway!
I think you said it best when you said "You never hear of too many being crippled from a plane crash" :rofl:
 
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