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White/carbon r34
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1,051 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
few of u may have read a post i put up about my daughter needing an operation and all the crap i been thro this year,
well it just got worse.
her mum was on msn yesterday and i asked why she didnt tell me about megan needing an operation, she said it was none of my business and went off on one. tellin me what a crap father i was and i am never there and callin me all the names under the sun, i gave her a few home truths and within 5mins she phoned my parents and told them and said she was commin to get megan and take her away. this was 9.30 last night.
she said she wants to take me to court and ban me from seein my daughter because her own bloody insecurities. i have done nothin wrong regarding megan, i work everyother weekend so dont get to c her alot.
we do little things together but she never hears any of this.
now, my daughters mum is a manic depressant who is covered in scars up her arms from cuttin herself and used to drink alot, she was well known for being a bit FREE after i met her. with a history of self harm and drinkin issues, she lives at home with megan and megans nan so no father figure at home, yet i hav both parents and sister at home, my brother has just moved out and i have a stable job, she doesnt. now surly a court battle would be incredably stupid of her if this comes up. anyone know or been thro anything simular? i have a clean police record and have never been arrested or in trouble with the police. any advice warmly welcome.
 

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bla
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17,374 Posts
Mate, If it went to court, I seriously doubt your Ex and her mum would get custody if its as bad as what youve wrote.

Your best going to see a solicitor and telling them everything. If all the self harm and drink issues etc come up in court, then theres a good chance you will get custody! But this is serious mate. Youll have to mention every little detail.. It will all go in your favour!!

You could try giving these chaps acall for a chat?? Its free and 24/7

http://www.ccsmale.co.uk/?page_id=13
 

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confused.com
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6,592 Posts
get lawyered up. common sense was never the presiding virtue of this countries legal system.

at present the system is heavily weighted toward the mother. you need professional legal council more than advice from a bunch of car enthusiasts mate.

not sure if anyone on here IS a legal hound though.
 

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White/carbon r34
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1,051 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
theres alot of smart people on here and someone else may have been thro a similar thing. i know its odd talkin to people i have never met but it kind of makes it easiler if that makes sence.
 

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4,045 Posts
I dont no what to say mate

You have to remember this is Britain and she is her mum.

Weather she drinks self harms or is abit "free" it dosent really matter. As sad as it sounds this country is all backwards.

It sounds like some things have been said in the heat of the moment and with everything that i have read so far im sure your words were not so carefully chosen although i could be wrong and we as in this forum will be slightly biase towards you as you share a common interest and we havent heard her story.

I hope you havent read this as being nasty or vindictive i just try and see both sides and base my replys around that
 

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White/carbon r34
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1,051 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
my daughters mum wont talk to me hasnt for years, coz he issues with me.
all information is passed thro my mum which is pathetic. if i ever want to c megan i have to get mum to go and collect her for me. megans mum has met someone and playin happy familys so she wants me out the picture perminantly.
my mum convinced her not to come collect megan last night but they are meetin today to talk about it. i am at work. mums tryin to convince her that she needs our family support to look after megan plus it keeps the childminders fee down plus we had megan thro all the times her mum was job hunting and strugglin with other issues. none of which she could have got thro with out the support of my parents.

we r both 24 but she is acting megans age, 4.
no wonder fathers for justice has been established.
so im waiting today to find out the outcome. i know my mum will be spun a web of lies and its goin to amount to a big argument at home tonight.
 

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4,219 Posts
Speak to a solicitor buck, deffo. And just a suggestion but you know you can set msn up to record every single convo?? Would be an awful shame if you got it in writing off her saying that she used to drink alot and self harm ;) Me wee sister has it set up on this here for her msn but I'm not sure how, I'll ask her when she gets up, which will probably be about next thursday!! Good luck!

Edit: In your msn window go tools => options.
 

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Seasoned Member
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753 Posts
hey m8 stay cool about it all.

im a single dad and both my kids live with me, ive been trhough the custody battle and won.

if she takes you to court then you will have time to provide evidence to back up your claims about her. the courts are very understanding these days about child security etc.

you have a totally clean record and would be seen as an upstanding person, you see your daughter on a regular basis and i take it you pay maintenance etc.

i would say after going through the courts you could turn this in your favour and maybe even get joint custody etc set by the courts, she then couldnt use your daughter against you.

the courts are very up on whats best for children these days.

stay cool about it all go see a solicitor for advice and meet her in court. after what you have said about her if you can proove it then you will come out on top.

msn message auto save - go into tools on msn, then into options, click on the message tab and near the bottom check the box marked " automatically keep a history of my conversations" messages are saved in your "my received files" folder :D
 

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... is modifying the driver
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7,524 Posts
firstly as said obviously get legal representation

I'd also take a bit of time out to write down everything about the whole situation and make sure none of it is biased or opinionated in anyway just the plain facts, carefully record any instances \ situations where things have come to a head or you feel your daughters wellfare has been put \ is at risk which who at the end of the day is the most important person in all of this, especially at her young age, present this to your legal representative and take it from there

Personally I wouldn't use msn to communicate about the situation to others involved about such a delicate situation as its an easy medium to say things you don't necessarily want to \ mean to and the log files can be edited afterwards so I doubt they could be used in any way as part of a legal argument

Good luck bud
 

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I agree with the legal advice -but have you tried mediation before? I work with kids in care and I deal with these issues a lot, trying to get them to have relationships with their parents. I know its not the same situation as yours -but surely its worth having a go before you go down the court route? its a good chance for you both to have your rant -see how you both feel -and decide what is best for your little girl.
Whatever though -Good luck -you obviously love megan a lot. Hope it all works out.
 

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Seasoned Member
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21,588 Posts
Adam the "self harming/drinking" will come under mental health mate, be very careful as if/when it goes to court evidence will be required against her rather than just "hearsay", i work with mental health patients (voluntary work) and its a well know disease mate....get a brief....keith
 
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